Has the world gone mad?...

With this week's language stories in the papers, I think there's only one answer to that question - a big fat yes.

First up is news that the world of advertising is having an increasing impact on parents-to-be. We're not talking subliminal advertising of Huggies during Eastenders, we're talking the whole concept that in order for a product to succeed it most have a Unique Selling Point. Er, even when that product is your baby... So, a new piece of pseudo-research (done by some firm flogging baby-products) tells us that increasing numbers of parents are choosing successful brand names as names for their children.

I guess this is not that much different from the old way, really. I was named "Julie" after the hugely successful musical film icon Julie Andrews (think Mary Poppins and Maria von Trapp...); and biblical names are trading on the enormous power and prestige of their source. (Though I've never thought the southern European penchant for calling boys Jesus was a terribly optimistic start for a child...) I suppose what I'm bridling at is the fact that these new sources of names are so blatantly worshipping Mammon, the god/demon of materialism.

Now is "Moet" a boy's name or a girl's name?....

Why the best start in life is a silly name

The next bonkers bit of language news concerns the language of dating. The Indie focuses on a study by psychologists into the relevant success of different chat-up lines, but my favourite for all round insanity is the piece in the Telegraph about the hostage negotiator who has written a book applying the same techniques to pulling women. It's all about how guys should treat women like crazy fanatics threatening to kill everyone unless their demands are met, using the same kind of language to coax them into submission. It's enough to turn a perfectly rational woman into a gun-toting maniac, quite frankly...

It's all stranger than fiction this week...

'Excuse me beautiful, do you have space in your handbag for my Merc keys' And if you think that's excruciating, you should hear the successful chat-up lines

Hostage to love