Friday, December 23, 2005

Playlistism

Oh boy, I love the holidays. When else do you get to spend a whole day tinkering with your iPod? How on earth can that take a whole day, I hear you ask... Well, when you've somehow managed to blow up your iPod and you've got to restore it to its factory settings, and then install the updated software, and then you've got to reload all 3710 songs, trust me, that can take all day...

And what's this all got to do with the state of the English language, you're muttering into your Cadbury's selection pack. Well, the makers of the T9 predictive text dictionary have also just upgraded. Did they hear me chuntering about its inadequacy a few weeks back?... They don't appear to have added any words normal human beings might actually find useful, but much to my delight they have added some words I've never even heard before. Like 'playlistism' - judging a person by the playlist of their digital music player. Ha! That's fantastic! I was only teasing someone the other week for having Jona Lewie's Stop The Cavalry on his iPod, and now I have a word for my viciously judgemental response!

So long as no-one finds out I've got the full 9 minute 52 second version of Bat Out Of Hell on mine, I think I'll be okay...

Check out the predictive text new words - it's language change in action.

At a stroke: ASBO, smlirt, podcast enter predictive text dictionary

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Well, toots, i gotta gobba W.O.W.s ...
Looky heer, Paw:

Would U please help a plethora of King Size, wildchild, rawkuss wordz which are lookin 4 a home in thy novelty?? Thx. Whew. They're pretty insane. They're bereft of reason. Oi! Blimey! They're bloody PINK spiders!!!

Gotta lotta gobba shrewd, surreal, supersonic, sardonic satires, sassy N savvy elixers N electronic elegance on our YOUTHwitheTRUTH blogs. Wannum? Have'm. N'joym. Gettm outta my hair!!!

How mucha wanna betcha our irrational, antioxident, hot-shot, full-throttle, pleasure-beyond-measure, fuse-blowin-exploits R a copious madhouse of one lavish bookay D.O.A.? Our proFUSE NRGod who leads U.S. to explosive fairy-tales in the 'one-stop-shop' symphony Upstairs? God's the BigDude, the Owner of ElysianFields, the Grand Prize, the Austere Overdrive, NoPurchaseNecessary: our bombastic tenaCITY on a Hill which'll plant the Seeds 4u2 grow-up to new N greater heights!! Mama mia! Thatsa good pasta!!

CAUTION: our 22ish, avant-guard, accurately-atrocious, offa-the-reservation-like-Jimmy-Hoffa, metal-breadcrumm-fabYOUlishousness R sooo out-of-order, toots, they're an intimate wealth of bottomless sophistication. And dats da fak, Jak. Go ahead. Sue me. Yawn. But, yet, here's the perennial KOO D'TAH: who else has actually SEEN the Great Beyond in spirit & lived to tella youse bout the bionic, bloated, brevity-like-earth we're living on?? Yes, earthling, I had an NDE, almost salivating4salvation. So gain altitude, never attitude: death has no favorites.

If Mr. abSUREditty's an ultra-great-reward, and not everyone enters, Q: why is it an excruciating deluge of epic-.357-caliber where the quality's a limitless bulldozer plowin, pushin-your-power-cord with eternal goodies? A: the Prize-A+-TheEnd just gives U.S. moe-curley-graphix 2 VitSee: an explosion-of-extravagance which few R asking 4 anymore! Grrr. They're too concerned withe grotesque sanity of ambivilant, whorizontal piss-ants which swiftly crawl like lemmings to their scorecard destruction. C'est la guerre.

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